(now rewritten!) on privilege denial within disability

youarenotyou:

I’ve noticed a lot of people denying their capability to be ableist because they themselves fall somewhere on the disability spectrum. This, to me, really highlights the problems with using the typical privilege/oppression model to explain ableism. This model positions an individual as either having privilege, or being oppressed—one or the other. The problem is that it’s often more complicated than that. 

Disability is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. While it’s true that there are people with disabilities and those without, there is way too much variety within disability to simply say that one lacks “abled privilege” and is therefore exempt from being oppressive towards anyone else with a disability, regardless of what disabilities are actually involved. The thing is, one can lack “abled privilege” as a whole (ie. they have a disability) while still benefiting from able-bodied privilege, or allistic privilege, or many other forms of privilege that fall under the umbrella of “abled privilege.” My point being that you can have power and be oppressed at the same time on the disability axis.

Disability is complex. There are intellectual disabilities, developmental disabilities, physical disabilities, psychiatric disabilities, and others. Even within these subcategories of disability, there is a range of experiences and “privileges” that should be acknowledged. Not all diseases and disabilities are equally debilitating. There are some mental health conditions that are associated with much higher rates of homelessness and discrimination than others. Some illnesses are terminal. Some are not covered under most insurance plans while others are. This is not oppression olympics, but rather an acknowledgement of the realities of people with disabilities. Having a disability does not automatically place you on equal footing with another disabled person. It does not guarantee that you do not have power over them.

I see this come up again and again, as people try to dismiss the validity of the concept of ableism because a disabled person was accused of being so, and that’s “obviously” nonsensical. But the fact that one can be disabled and still ableist does make sense if you abandon the commonly accepted view that “privileged” and “oppressed” are mutually exclusive categories when they are on the same axis. 

(via youarenotyou-deactivated2012022)

let’s unpack “special snowflakes”.

mrdthgrvs:

youarenotyou:

[tw: this conversation addresses dismissive & oppressive behavior, including ableism, cissexism and gender binarism.]

Okay. So “special snowflake” is generally used to insult people who are perceived as going to great lengths to be seen as unique individuals, right? It’s primary function is to shame people who want to differentiate themselves from the status quo, as opposed to people who just are different.

First problem: we can’t really tell the difference between these two things because we are not mind readers. We don’t know if someone is trying really hard to stand out, or if they just stand out because it’s who they are. So the function of “special snowflake” automatically extends to shame all people who are non-conforming; the more someone deviates from the norm, the more likely they are to be branded a “special snowflake.”

Second problem: standing out is seen as negative. Implication: We are supposed to strive for normalcy. We are only allowed to deviate from the norm if it’s something we can’t control. Wanting to be different is shameful. The norm is exalted, and the norm is white, middle-class, cis, het, male, and lacking disability. So the concept serves to enforce social norms - specifically Western social norms - by ridiculing those who stray.

Third problem: Calling someone a “special snowflake” is an automatic way to shut down someone’s argument and dismiss not only what they are saying, but their entire self, as being invalid. It draws lines between what is an acceptable deviation, and what is not; what are acceptable identities to claim, and what are not. This is typically quite oppressive.

Fourth problem: People are regarded as “special snowflakes” that are merely seeking attention in desperate ways. This pathologizes attention-seeking behavior when attention-seeking is in fact, normal and healthy. It also ignores the fact that many people have to fight for their identities to be seen as valid.

Examples of how this is used:

Anyone who claims a non-binary gender identity just wants to be a special snowflake.

A lot of genderqueer people aren’t actually genderqueer; they just want to be special snowflakes.

People who use a lot of labels to define themselves just want to be seen as special snowflakes.

If you pass as privileged on an axis but claim to be oppressed on that axis, you’re trying to be a special snowflake.

You aren’t oppressed; you’re only angry because people aren’t treating you like the special snowflake you think you are.

There’s already a word for that; you made that term up to be a special snowflake.

Most of the time when I see this used, on the internet specifically, it’s being used toward people with invisible disabilities, and people who are gender non-conforming, especially nonbinaries. Please think about what you’re doing when you use the term “special snowflake” to dismiss someone. Think about why you’re using it and what function it has.

props on everything; i actually have a ‘tuesday is the coolest’ tag for moments like this :)

i’ve always wondered at what point in the history of social evolution did attention seeking become perceived as a negative behavior.

(via meredithgraves)

My Life with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

caffeinatedbunny:

TW: Mental illness, shaming, obsessive-compulsive rituals

Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more OCD-shaming and jokes at the expense of those who have it. This is certainly nothing new, and I’ve rather gotten used to it by this point. However, I need to say (or write) something. This is my forum to do so.

OCD is not funny. I have it as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The two often go hand in hand. I was diagnosed with both at the age of eight.

OCD is not an appropriate way for you to say that you just like things kept tidy or that you like to sort your crayons by color. OCD is not something to joke about on your T-shirt by saying “I have CDO-or OCD with the letters put in the right order”.  OCD is not something VH1 should make a show about.

OCD is absolutely needing to flip the light switch just right so your mother doesn’t die or your plane doesn’t crash. OCD is absolutely needing to touch things with both hands or a certain number of times (4 in my case) so you don’t choke at your next meal or so you don’t end up alone. OCD is knowing that these thoughts are completely ridiculous but also being so afraid that you end up doing these ridiculous rituals just in case.

My mental illness is not funny. It does not belong on your television or your “hilarious” T-shirt. My mental illness has cut down on my sleep because I have to spend 10 minutes making sure I set my cell phone just right on my bedside table.

The thing is, I have MILD OCD. My experiences are on the lower end of the spectrum. I have never missed an event because of the need to do rituals or been sent into a panic attack because I couldn’t complete a ritual.

So maybe you should think before you post that joke about OCD on your dash or throw on that T-shirt. Maybe you should think so you don’t remind someone like me of how much their illness can limit them.

I’m not asking for your pity. I’ve made great strides in my recovery, and my OCD really only flares up now during times of great stress. 

I’m asking for a little bit of consideration.

(Source: caffeinatedfeminist, via meredithgraves)

What is Able Privilege?

disabilityawareness:

• Able privilege is when you assume someone is not disabled and abusing resources just because they look able.
• Able privilege is putting out the message that a person’s illness does not exist, even though it’s well-documented by the medical community.
• Able privilege is assuming someone is more fragile due to their disability. (They will tell you what they can and can’t do, don’t assume anything.)
• Able privilege is telling a person with emotional illness that if they just think happy thoughts their illness will go away.
• Able privilege is assuming it’s okay to ask a person personal questions about their disability.
• Able privilege is telling a person on the Autism Spectrum they are unable to feel emotions or empathy.
• Able privilege is telling sick people that we are not allowed to get health insurance because we are a risk, even though health insurance is made for sick people.
• Able privilege is thinking a person with AIDS should have to let everyone they come in contact with know that they have this illness.
• Able privilege is the fact that someone with a disability or illness usually does not disclose this disability unless it’s very obvious for fear of losing their job.
• Able privilege is telling a person with chronic illness that if they just ate healthier or exercised more they will no longer be sick.
• Able privilege is stereotyping people with allergies or Asthma as all being nerds.
• Able privilege is telling a person with chronic or terminal illness, “We all get tired sometimes.”
• Able privilege is not allowing a person with disability to vent.
• Able privilege is feeling sorry for people with disabilities.
• Able privilege is assuming disability only affects children.
• Able privilege is using terms reserved for describing disability or illness in a negative way see: the r-word.
• Able privilege is refusing to add trigger warnings for people who have emotional illness.
• Able privilege is saying crap like “Life is hard,” if someone bothers to mention anything to do with their disability or illness.
• Able privilege is praising sick people who don’t complain.
• Able privilege is patronizing a person with disability.
• Able privilege is saying things like, “I hope you get AIDS and die.” “This dog guarding this house has AIDS.”
• Able privilege is labeling a child in your class as difficult rather than trying to see what is going on with them.
• Able privilege is apologeticism about people being disabled. Like, “I almost had a retarded child, I’m so glad I don’t have one. I love all kids now.” or “Whoah I didn’t know you were disabled (or sick). If I had I wouldn’t have said that.” Why don’t you do some research and talk when you’ve actually learned something?
• Able privilege is holding a picture up of a person who is disabled or sick, who probably never gave you permission to use their picture in this way, and say that you’re so thankful not to be them. We’re not here to be an example of what life shouldn’t be.
• Able privilege is assuming everyone with disabilities and illness use it as an excuse for every situation at every moment. We don’t. Period.
• Able privilege is telling someone they can’t use whatever word they want to label themselves as because they haven’t gone through enough pain or suffering. Fuck you I’m a survivor.
• Able privilege is labeling someone before they get the chance to tell you what label they would prefer.
• Able privilege is telling people they don’t need medication for their illness, or that emotional illnesses don’t require medication. WTF?
• Able privilege is telling parents of children with ADHD/ADD they are harming their children by giving them medication.
• To add to the link above, Able privilege is also telling an adult that they are to blame for their child’s disability, and we are excluding abusive or neglectful parents.
• Able privilege is assuming a person who can’t spell/punctuate/use grammar correctly must be stupid.
• Able privilege is assuming a person who can’t read a clock must be stupid.
• Able privilege is the fact that term “wrong” is what’s used to describe disabilities and illnesses, ie, “What’s wrong with you?”.
• Able privilege is not allowing people to do religious activities or enter countries just because they are disabled.
• Able privilege is making someone talk about their disability or illness when they don’t want to.
• Able privilege is if someone with disability has an exceptional talent, they are treated like they have overcome something very huge in their life, rather than recognizing their talent for what it is.
• Able privilege is staring at someone in public who has disability or illness.

Feel free to add more as you see fit.

… Able privilege is assuming that all people with psychotic disorders are violent.

(Source: )

Hay! Just another call for submissions on mental health / illness from any of my disabled followers: I want this zine to be truly inclusive, and it just won’t be the same without your voices. Please get in touch!